To HELL . . . with frozen feet and big buttocks.....

Yes, have been in HEL(L) these past 2 days.

Will not keep you in suspense. Am not Cruella da Ville. Well, only sometimes, depending on the situation - see pic below.......

Q: Wot is HEL(L) you ask?

A: It is 'Healthy Eating Lifestyle . . . .'

Have come to the end of the present road having sat at sewing machine and computer for last 6 months.
This designing lark is OK but has detrimental effect i.e. big buttocks and bloodless lower regions.
And HEL(L) is a known Cure.

Method:
Have lived in Lettuce Land for 24 hours and drunk from the waters of local reservoir - albeit in champagne flute.
Shaken, not stirred.

Am so hungry could eat half a yard of Hobbs 80:20 wadding. Well, perhaps Thermore's a tad more digestible.

(Sighs):

'Tis almost the bewitching hour - house is silent - am tempted to creep downstairs (it is Hallowe'en) and munch on a big barm bun slavered with butter and stuffed with some reet tasty Lancashire Cheese and Branston Pickle (wot else?)

Will she? Won't she?
You'll have to wait for the next exciting instalment of "Tempt Me Not, My Name's Temptation!"