For whom the bell tolls . . . .

It tolls for me! Have placed my old school bell next to Stephen's bed so he can ring when he needs me.

Doctor called yesterday morning - to check the infection in Stephen's foot - prescribed antibiotics. Apparently it is dangerous if the infection gets under the skin - spreads to his legs - could set up diabetes. The oedema has now spread up the legs to his stomach, which is vastly distended. He is also experienced pain for the first time when doctor gently pressed the liver.

Doctor took me aside - explained the situation and what to expect over the next week or two (not months). Discussed end-of-life care and whether I could cope with him at home over the following weeks. A special pack is to be ordered - to be kept at home for the medics to use as Stephen deteriorates, when he may, or may not - depending on how he feels - be transferred to the Hospice.

Stephen remained in bed all day - ringing the bell, as necessary.

However, in the evening, as I was sitting trying to relax - doing a bit of mindless knitting and watching women giving birth on TV (will opt for a caesarian next time) - the bell rang furiously. I panicked - ran upstairs to find a very cheerful Stephen sitting up in bed doing the Times crossword and requesting a second glass of Wisniowka (Polish cherry vodka to the uniniated).

I think you could say we are on a rollercoaster!