A 'downsy' couple of days . . .

I spoke too soon on Saturday.

Stephen was fine until tea-time when he suddenly went into a decline - and spent the whole of Sunday in bed. He got up this morning but has been poorly all day and sat huddled in front of the fire this afternoon and evening. Doesn't want to eat - feels ill -has difficulty going to the lavatory - his abdomen is swollen and hard but won't allow me to call the doctor or take him to the hospital or hospice. Gets very angry when I mention it. He saw the oncologist on Friday and is waiting for the results of a blood test and an appointment for yet another MRI scan and a report from the bowel surgeon in Manchester. He may need an op.

I talked to the District Nurse this afternoon and she made some suggestions and is calling to see Stephen on Wednesday afternoon to see how he is faring.

Outsiders remark how well he looks - considering what he's got - and of course he puts on a brave face. Inside the house it's a completely different matter.

It is very distressing.

I had to go to the hospital this morning for a barium meal. Much better and far less traumatic than having an endoscopy I can tell you.

Between us, Stephen and me are a right old pair of crocks. Almost ready for the knackers yard methinks!