HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL . .

Feel very apprehensive about what 2010 may have in store for us.

Stephen is not at all well tonight and has slept for most of the afternoon and evening. Is in bed with rigors and heavy sweating.

I shall contact the nurse first thing tomorrow morning.

We are very fortunate to have the support of the Outreach team at our local Hospice - Cancercare - District Nurses - a wonderful Oncologist and a great Pain Management Team at the Infirmary - plus our local GP and surgery nurse. These fantastic people are helping to prolong Stephen's life and keep him as comfortable as is humanly possible.

I am so grateful for their help and encouragement at this very difficult time.

Latest picture of Stephen . .

Stephen face is puffed with use of steroids and beginning to take on a yellow tinge. Not good. We visit the Hospice tomorrow morning and district nurse is calling to see him at home in the afternoon.

A 'downsy' couple of days . . .

I spoke too soon on Saturday.

Stephen was fine until tea-time when he suddenly went into a decline - and spent the whole of Sunday in bed. He got up this morning but has been poorly all day and sat huddled in front of the fire this afternoon and evening. Doesn't want to eat - feels ill -has difficulty going to the lavatory - his abdomen is swollen and hard but won't allow me to call the doctor or take him to the hospital or hospice. Gets very angry when I mention it. He saw the oncologist on Friday and is waiting for the results of a blood test and an appointment for yet another MRI scan and a report from the bowel surgeon in Manchester. He may need an op.

I talked to the District Nurse this afternoon and she made some suggestions and is calling to see Stephen on Wednesday afternoon to see how he is faring.

Outsiders remark how well he looks - considering what he's got - and of course he puts on a brave face. Inside the house it's a completely different matter.

It is very distressing.

I had to go to the hospital this morning for a barium meal. Much better and far less traumatic than having an endoscopy I can tell you.

Between us, Stephen and me are a right old pair of crocks. Almost ready for the knackers yard methinks!

LATEST UPDATE ON STEPHEN . . .

Have not posted any details about Stephen for a while as things were very dicey at times, but for those of you who are interested and have been following his progress, I will now bring you up to date.

Prof B at the Hospice arranged for him to see the Pain Management team at a local hospital where Stephen underwent a spinal block in an attempt to stop the excruciating pain.

I'm glad to report that it worked - and Stephen is now free from pain. He still has 'upsy downsy' days when he seems 'reasonably' fine one day but confined to his bed on other days with exhaustion, no appetite, and deep sweats.

His appetite is poor, as I mentioned, so I try to coax him to eat - serving tiny portions of very tasty food as his taste buds have changed - probably affected by the increased doses of morphine. High energy drinks have been prescribed which 'taste awful' says Stephen - but mixed with lemonade are 'just about palatable.' However, these drinks keep him going during the non-eating days.

He takes steroids (magic pills) when he is at a very low ebb as they give him energy, decrease the sweats, and increase his appetite, but have to be taken with discretion.

The downside is they make him very argumentative!!!

Stephen's hair is returning since the chemo (which didn't work)and he feels 'fairly human' once more, but is losing weight at a rate of knots (now weighs less than me) which is to be expected given his decreased appetite.

Stephen knows he is on 'the slippy slope' but is making the best of the good days, of which today is one. It's a lovely day. The sun is shining. He feels 'good' he says and fancies scrambled eggs!

So we are - as they say - 'making hay whilst the sun shineth . . . . .'

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL . . .

Many thanks to everyone for your cards and kind good wishes . . .

We are making the best of things - a very very quiet Christmas at home. No turkey - no visitors - no travel.

On a happier note . . . preparations for an Oz christmas . . .

My two Australian great grand-daughters, Lily and young Madeleine, decorate the Christmas tree . . . in Aroona - on the sunshine coast - Queensland.

MERRY CHRISTMAS? Not for this poor 18 year old lad. Tony Blair and all those MP's who voted for WAR should hang their heads in shame!

No legs - one arm with fingers missing - nose and lips blown off!

Stephen and I are dreadfully disturbed by this image and, as Stephen says, we think WE have troubles!

See side bar - where you can HELP these poor lads.